Nocturnesque











(c) 1985 by The Werewolf



Chapter 1



My mother has always told me to get married. Thinking about it, I think

the first time she told me that was when I was nine. I thought she was

dumb but of course I was young and cocky.



I live the usual day to day existence that most people do these days.  I

look at the women a bit with desire, mostly with a kind of fear. Oh, not

so much a fear of the person (that's the best way to think of a woman,

as a person) but a fear of how to deal with them.



I've noticed that as this decade wears on, people are getting very

weird. People don't like people very much anymore. They make a lot of

noise and seem to be drunk all the time or stoned.



I've heard all the lines about how drugs make you more creative and how

they relax you and how they make you better able to cope, but from what

I've seen, alcohol gives most people a license to be jerks and drugs

turns most people into walking manniquins. Talking to a person who's

high is like talking on a very bad connection.  You have to repeat

yourself alot and then you're never sure if the other party is really

there.



I guess deep down I don't like people myself. Hey, why be different?



My parents still live around here and I visit them from time to time but

while I love them, we don't see much of each other. I prefer it that

way. My parents are the kind of people I'd probably not like very much

if they weren't my parents.



Oh, they're not bad people. They mow their lawn and raise their kids

well and curb their dogs but for the most part they're rather boring

people and we share almost nothing in common other than chromosomes.



They've been married for all their life or at least 26 years. They

threaten to split up at least once a year, kind of an anti-anniversary

and then they make up and life goes on.  I can't imagine them together,

they don't really have that much in common, but then I can't imagine

them apart, they seem like a matched set.



People tend to grow together with time.



As for me, I mentioned earier how women unnerve me. It's true. I don't

think it's my fault either. After all, it used to be simple. Women were

women and men were men.  Men went out and found women and they got

married.



Not any more! Don't get me wrong. I'm not against womens equality, but

I've just learnt the rules for Monopoly and now we're playing Parchesi. 

Actually, it's worse than that because nobody's got the rules figured

out yet.



That's what makes it so unnerving. I don't know what to say or do

without offending and then I end up not saying anything to someone who

wouldn't be offended and then I screw up both ways.



There are times I wish I could just get away from all of this.  You

know, become a trapper up north or a hermit or maybe a forest ranger,

but I know deep down I couldn't live away from the city.



There's a kind of energy in the city that keeps you moving.  There's

never night in the city, it's always alive. Maybe I'm afraid of the

dark.



---



I'm told that life for a girl on the prairies is dull. Don't believe

that, I had a great life and a very close family.  My parents married

late in life after living together for a while. Pretty risque stuff back

then. They both grew up in the same town, not far from where they live

now.



Our town was originally founded by some Welsh settlers in the late

1700's who wanted a quiet isolated area of country to run small

community farms. Sort of like a large town sized kibbutz. Everybody

shares around here and there's a charge in the air that keeps you

happy.



We owned our own farm area and contributed to the town stores like

everybody else and everything was pretty good. As I grew up, I went to

the local school and ran with the other kids.



We'd hunt and chase and have a great time.



As I entered puberty I learnt about the birds and bees and as my gang

grew into young adulthood, we added some very exciting games to our

repetoire.



We all had our little tricks and this made our games all the more

exciting. Our poor teacher, a local, would have misery when the younger

children would do it involuntarily as a reflex when she tried to

discipline them.



The town reverend was presbyterian. He seemed to take it all in stride.

I found out from my mother that he was one of our people. I'd read all

the old books about my kind of people and had come to the conclusion

that the church thought we were evil. I didn't feel evil.  I've never

hurt anyone in my life (except of course for Stevie Walker once because

he kept punching me).  Even when I hunt I try not to hurt the animals

too much.



It was a great town. We had a really neat mix of people from all over

the world. When they heard of our town they slowly came over and joined

us. In a sense they were minority groups, but we never really made any

distinctions. Couples mixed every which way would walk the board walks

at night. We even had a few gay types. Nobody minded.



From time to time people would come to our town who weren't one of us

and then the town had to be on its best behaviour. No outsider ever

stayed too long. If they did, they would eventually find out about us,

but by then, if they still were there, we'd just take them in, give them

the gift and then they'd be one of us.



We've never had any complaints.



As I grew older though I started to feel a bit apart from my friends. It

was assumed that I'd find a mate amoung the townsfolk but as usual it

was my ever wise mother who told me to go where my heart lead.



She said every heart has a match. Usually souls are born close so you

can find each other, but from time to time souls get lost.



.



Chapter 2



A typical Saturday night. Sitting in a smelly singles bar looking for

someone to take home for the night. Boring.  Why do all the girls in

this town look so sleazy? If they took the time to look good, maybe work

out like I do, they wouldn't have to hang out in bars like this. Hmm,

bad logic there, why do I have to hang out in bars like this? I guess

deep down I like it.



Hello, what's this? Now there's a looker. God, a silk drape dress in

grey and white. Wow! And that face! Slim  and  just a  little oriental,

just  right. Incredible!



I watch her drift over to a table and settle into a pose that would kill

most of the men here. She slowly took in the room, resting for a moment

on each guy, sizing them up and then moving on to the next. I was both

desperate for her to get to me and yet terrified that she would continue

on.



Then we met. Her eyes were a golden hazel that burned with a secret.

Even across the room, I felt the fire. A smile crosses her lips and she

moves on.  I'm crushed.



After a chance at someone like that the others in the room are too

pathetic to even think about. I turn to the bar and finish my drink. I

have to have just one last look and then go. I turn and she's gone.

Damn!



Getting up, I turn to the exit and slowly plow my way through the

crowds. I push the door open and turn down the street. As I cross the

back alley way, a shudder, like a cold wind, moves up my spine, then

passes. Someone's behind me! Well this mugger's picked the wrong night

to hit on me. I turn suddenly and raise my fist.



All I see is a skirl of grey silk and then nothing. God, am I losing my

mind? There's a glint of metal on the ground.  I bend over and pick it

up;  it's some sort of medallion. I pocket it and head for home.



---



Ummm.  A good catch. Just what I need. I can still feel him. I begin to

walk, taking in the sounds of the quiet neigbourhood.  I hear the

squabbles and the televisions and the mothers singing to their children.

I hear the older sounds of the people who once lived and have left their

sounds in their old homes.  Happy sounds and sad sounds.



I turn the street and the raucous blare of some deaf fools music strikes

me. I gasp and shudder, covering my ears. Hurrying, solace is found at

the next turn. A beautiful old church, the gentle harmony of the long

past choir caressing me. I move to the great oak and rest against it,

soaking in the age and serenity.



My eyes see nocturnal friends. The cats, mice and other fellow

night-owls, large and small. I call to the small one believing himself

hidden in the bushes. He starts and then realizes that he is safe. He

comes forth and brushes his bristly whiskers against my hand. I gather

my little friend up, cradle him in the warmth of my arms and press my

lips to his face.



He rubs against my face tickling me with his silky fur. We look into

each others eyes and I see his flare.  I rub his soft ears and then

lower him to the ground. He gives a soft growl and slides into the

bushes.



I continue through the dark streets to a little path leading to the

beach. The trees and flowers speak with their scents;  one whispering a

subtle perfume, the next shouting a harsh pungency. They snatch at me

with their wooden fingers and beg me to stay;  yet I continue.



The trees part and a glowing waterscape greets me.  I step onto the cool

sand shedding my sandles. I pause and reach for my clasp; the dress

billows around me to the ground. I stretch and run my arms through my

hair. I look up to the moon, only a quarter full. How sad, the light is

so pleasant.



Crouching, I rest my hands on the sand then rock up onto my toes.  I

relax, feeling the cool night air moving over the beach. Within minutes,

I am done and begin to move over the sand. I run and jump, feeling the

pull of my muscles. Warm now, I look for a little something to eat.



A small field mouse scurries in the tall grass and I bound over. I'm not

really very hungry, but the hunt is fun. I pounce on the little one and

give chase. I almost hope the mouse gets away, but I am very good at

this and the chase makes me hungry. After toying for a bit, I leap and

land on it. As is my custom, I apologize and then snap into it. Two

bites and I'm finished.  I love the warm rush as the juices run down my

throat.



I run for a bit; more splashing in the water and just being silly.  I

snap at the pussywillow playing that they are birds to catch or menaces

to trap. Finally, I tire, grow drowsy, and curl up near my dress and

drift into sleep. I dream of mice and my new man.



---



I walk home through the dirty streets, drunks begging for dimes and

punks strutting. God, how I hate this place.  I guess it wouldn't be so

bad for those rich fat-cat aldermen. They live in the ritzy area of

town. Sure.



I move up the walkway and push open the door. In the lobby a couple of

weirdoes are groping to the sound of some punk/new-wave screaming. I

grit my teeth and not for the first time think about how much fun I

could have with a machine gun.



The elevator light shows all the elevators at the top as usual and most

of them not moving.  I push the button. Nothing happens. I'm convinced

the ritzies in the top floor penthouses block the doors just to irritate

the rest of us low life.



Finally, an elevator comes down to ground and I enter. Some moron has

poured a bottle of beer onto the tacky red carpet making the elevator

car smell like a brewery and my feet stick to the floor.



Pulling free from the elevator I walk the short path down to my

"luxurious 6th floor suite." Turning the key in the lock, I push open

the door and move into the darkness.  Enough light enters from the

balcony to let me see and I leave the lights off. I like the dark. A

quick stop at the kitchen to pick up a coke and I go to the bedroom.



I slide my hand into my pocket and take out the medallion I found on the

street. It looks like bronze or brass and feels cool in my hand. It has

some ornate design I've never seen before with triangles and circles

woven together. There is some sort of writing on the outer rim but I

can't make heads nor tails of it.  I place it down on my night table,

turn the light out and the radio on. "Africa" by Toto's playing so I lay

back in the bed and wait for my favourite line about "Wild dogs cry out

in the night, looking for some solitary company..." Someday I'll figure

how you can have solitary company;  it sounds just like what I need.



As the music progresses I grow sleepy and yet for some reason, restless.

 Another night of insomnia ahead. Turning and rolling, finally, I find a

comfortable position and begin to nod off. The last thing I see is the

moonlight bouncing off the medallion and then I'm asleep.



---



The sun streams over me and warms me from my slumber. I rise and shake

the clinging sand, then run to the water and dive in to wash myself. The

water holds me but I pull free from its gentle grip and throw the

weighty burden it leaves on me to the wind.



Suddenly I hear voices and realize the danger. I hurry to my clothes and

change so that I might wear them. I drape the cloth about me and gather

my hair up into a braid. Clasping the broach, I step into my sandles and

settle on a large warm rock for a moment as I gather the morning about.



I return along the path I took the previous night and walk through the

same neighbourhood. In the harsh daylight they seem quaint yet somehow

dulled and dead. Not quite real. The children play along the roads and

their laughter thrills me. I love children. They can see what I can see

when they want to. We share the same secrets.  But then they grow older

and they forget.  First their soul dies and then they die. Ashes to

Ashes.



I shake these gloomy thoughts from my head and walk to my home.  The old

wooden door greets me with its furrows and groans happily as I push

against the warm surface.  I pass my landlord as I begin to climb the

stairs to the upstairs suite where I live.



She's a nice person in her own way. She's a "liberated woman," a badge

of pride she wears larger each day as if to shield herself from any

possible harm.  Behind it, she's a charming woman concerned about me and

the city and the world and, oh, just about everything. Kind of a

world-mother who won't admit it to herself.



She asks if I'm alright. I am. She warns me about staying out all night

with a wink.  I really am alright.  You've got to bring over the young

man she says to me. What makes you think it's a young man, I reply?  She

smiles and says that if it isn't;  it should be. Some feminist, I throw

back to her and she begins to laugh. Well, when you're ready; you must

bring him over. I will, I say, climb the stairs and enter the old

rooms.



I change into sensible clothes. That means clothes that itch and

constrain and hurt. I gather up a purse and some stuff in a bag for work

and put on a watch which tells me I've got to hurry.



Running down the stairs two at a time, I run for the bus, catch it with

only minutes to spare and get to work only half an hour late. Lucky my

boss isn't a stickler for hours.



---



I awake with a start. Such strange dreams, running through the water,

killing animals and eating them. Yi! It really felt good to do that in

the dream.



My mind feels foggy. I gulp down the remnants of warm cola and the rush

of caffeine clears my head.  I stumble in to the shower and do the

morning ritual of setting the water too hot and wincing in pain as I

reset the temperature to a more decent level.



After showering, I go to brush my teeth and for the first time notice an

awful taste in my mouth. I brush with a vengeance then gargle and the

taste finally goes away.



I dress and ride down to the parkade. Why can't they find some way to

get rid of that choking lack of air in parkades? I climb into the car

and drive to work.



Of all the things in my miserable life, the worst thing is my job. A

civil servant misery of tedium working with half-witted morons too

incompetant to fill out a simple form.  Unfortunately it pays well and

with unemployment as high as it is, I can't afford to quit.



So, I endure it day in and day out. They do as well. We all endure it.

What a life.



---



Finally, the day ends. I like my job and the people at work but they

make me nervous. Their presence is a pressure on me to be like them and

I can't be that. I know I make them nervous too but I can't help that.

So I try to be as normal as I can be. I think my eyes bother them the

most.



I bus home and run up to my suite. I've been thinking about my new man

all day, drawing little pictures of him.  I'm really eager for this hunt

and have to hold myself back.



---



I drive home and feel a lump in my pocket. As I pull into my stall, it

digs into my thigh, making me wince. When I climb out of my car, I reach

into my pocket and pull out the medallion. Odd, I didn't put it in

there; I left it on the night-table.



Slipping it back into my pocket, I race up the stairs to my suite and

check the night-table. Sure enough; it's there. So where did the other

one come from?  I go to pull it out only to find empty cloth. Oh my God,

I am going nuts.@@  CC



I know all this has to do with that woman I saw last night.  Maybe I've

let myself get so lonely that I'm going crazy. I know I can't let this

kind of thing go on.



I take up the medallion and walk to the balcony. Raising my arm I hurl

it out as hard as I can. There! Let it be someone elses problem.



I make a light supper. I'm not very hungry for some reason.  First some

soup to settle the stomach.  The warm liquid is good and calms me down.

I scoop down to get the thick vegetables at the bottom and feel a heavy

lump in the soup. A knot forms in anticipation as I dredge the lump up.



---



This night I think I'll just go for a run. I put on my evening clothes

and quietly descend the stairs.  I'd rather not have an encounter with

Emily, I'm feeling a little claustrophobic and I want to get out

cleanly.



I have a little place around the back where the trees can hide me and I

go there to change. It's dangerous in the suburbs but no ones caught me

yet. I pick a direction and start.



---



A couple of tranquilizers and a mickey of scotch later and I'm still

shaking. Things like this don't happen in real life.  Rather than trying

again, I put the damned thing into my pocket and that's where it's

staying for now.



The booze is starting to take effect and I feel a little ill and more

than a little groggy. I lie down in my bed and watch the room spin for a

bit.  Now everything is going the same way around.



---



I stick to back alleys and the shadows. I'm not really afraid of the

people but I don't see any need to call attention to myself. I move out

to a large old park and hear a sharp bark. A handsome Alsation lopes up

and gives me a sniff. He asks me to play and we romp about the park

chasing each other and offering each other twigs and sticks.



We move together through the shrubs and trees and he marks a few as we

pass. I can tell this is his territory.  We enter a small clearing and I

can smell the ocean nearby. I want to continue but he hesitates. Looking

back for moment, I push through to a small cliff edge overlooking the

beach I was at yesterday.



I lay upon the thick moist grass as the dog pushes through to join me.

He lies next to me and I feel the warmth of his body as it touches mine.

We lay there looking out over the water and rest.



---



I can't stay awake and the world keeps winking in and out. Finally, I

stop fighting. Things go black.



---



Oh!  He's asleep. Good, I'd like to go see him.  I return to the park

and bid my friend adieu! He's not happy about that and wants to follow

me but I make it quite clear that he can't.



I follow the trail to his place that pulls in my mind. I go closer and

closer and finally end up behind this dingy highrise. I look up and

focus on him.



---



Ohhh! My head. I awake for a moment and roll over. I reach for the light

and turn it out by knocking it to the floor, plunging the room into

darkness. As I go under for the third count I look out the window and

see a large shape and two fire green lights. Then nothing.



---



I look in at him. Poor dear! He's drunk or stoned. Nothing to do with me

I hope. I sit on the cold concrete of this balcony and watch for a

while.  I refocus and move to his side. I climb onto his bed and look at

his face.



---



It's an earthquake! The world is exploding!  Oh my God!  I'm gonna die

in my shorts. People shouldn't go sailing in heavy winds, they tend to

throw up. I know I'm going to as soon as I can figure out were I am. I

open my eyes to see those green fires staring me right in the eyes. What

the hell is that!



The great thing pushes a wet tongue against my face and then leaps off

the bed. I leap after it, falling to the floor. Smacking my face against

floor brought back what little sanity I had left. It was about then that

I realized that there was little chance of getting up again. Besides,

what ever that thing was, it was gone.



My mind, in possibly the last act of kindness to a dying man, quietly

went out and this time stayed that way until morning.



---



Ha ha ha ha! Oh, that was too cruel. My poor little man.  I think round

one goes to me. I've tasted him and I'm more certain than ever that he's

the one I've been looking for.



I feel exhilarated and race to my beach, startling a few people. I run

down the path then scurry back and forth across the sand, diving into

the water and smimming then back to shore to shake off the water and run

even harder.



The Alsation I met earier comes down the path barking and joins in my

game. I don't mind his noise here. This is my territory.



Panting, we rest side by side in the wet sand.  It's quite late now and

I should be getting back. I tell him that I'll see him again and head

for home.







Chapter 3



The first thing I see as I awaken is lint. This is a terrible thing to

see close up at any time, but for some reason is all that much more

awful when you just wake up.



Next I can feel a scrub brush on my face. It is about now that I realize

that I'm on the floor and slowly stripping my skin off on the carpet.



My first question: How the hell did I get down here? My second: What was

I doing yesterday? Then it slowly starts to come back.



I remember something about fiery geen eyes and a big shaggy thing on my

bed and being hit in the face with a baseball bat or a truck or

something. Of course, I also currently feel that bat or truck still

being used on my head, so, of course all the rest must be true. It all

makes perfectly good sense. Sure. Well I'll just be off to the funny

farm now.



Or perhaps the next best thing, work.



---



I feel a little queasy this morning. Odd, since I don't get ill very

often. It's like having drums in my head and trying to dance while I

walk. Just like a hangover.



I try and shake it off and get ready for work.



---



As I've mentioned before, work is an interesting place. Interesting  in 

the same  way surgery  for  the uninititated must be.



Like most people, I have a friend and confidante who shares the misery

and for the most part has nothing in common other than our lifework and

the crudite that life forces upon us.



Mike is my confidante and I'm his. He's an OK guy who sometimes goes out

drinking with me and from time to time has dinner with me when we're

both bored or every second weekend if we're free.



At lunch we go to the lounge in the first floor. We go there alot and

the waitresses know us by name. I order a Cuba Libre (my usual drink)

and he orders Scotch (his usual drink). I begin to tell him about the

last few days and he watches me closely.



I can see he's not buying any of this so I pull the medallion and show

him. I left it my pants pocket rather than try to see if yesterdays

little strangeness was real. He takes it from me and tells me that there

is a quick way to see if it really does this follow the master trick and

stuffs it into his pocket.



I tell him I don't think that's such a good idea and he tries to calm me

down. I really am afraid of this and don't want it to be true. As long

as it is in my pocket, it's not going anywhere else and I can forget

about it.



He insists and we finish lunch. I ask him about the woman and he informs

me that he doesn't spend his evenings in cheap bars and so isn't likely

to see girls like this.



That burns me and I start to get really angry. He can see me get redder,

even in the darkly lit lounge and quickly apologises.



We rise, pay our bill with our usual tip and head out, back to work. We

don't talk for a while, I'm still steamed about the crack. I cool off as

the day wears on, and then I'm surprised by how angry I was about a

woman I didn't meet in a bar.



As the day ends, I take Mike aside and apologise to him.  I try to

explain how I feel but come across a total fool. He suggests I try to

forget her and I know now that I can't.



---



What an odd day. First the ill feeling this morning and then I'm riding

an emotional roller-coaster.



Lunch I suddenly became very angry for no reason and almost changed on

the spot. Something very odd is going on indeed.



Riding on the bus, I suddenly feel like crying and I know I'm in

trouble. I'm not built like other women and don't have those monthly

problems;  that only happens once a year for me. I've heard about the

emotional troubles that can cause for women but it's not my time yet.



When I get home, I collapse on the bed and feel very flushed.  I do what

any other girl would do in this case: I call my mother.



---



I enter the bedroom and look to the night table.  I don't want to look

because I know what I'm going to see and it's there. I pick it up and

turn it over in my hands.



Still holding it, I call Mike and ask him to check to see if he still

had it. He does so and says he can't find it. He starts to apologise, he

thinks he's lost it but I tell him I have it.  He stammers that's

impossible. I say yes and hang up the phone.



---



Come home. That's all she said. Come home. I can't just come home. I

can't uproot my life just because things are a little confused right

now.



Have you found a man?



Yes, I have.



Does he have the gift?



I don't know. I don't think so.



Do you love him?



I don't know. I might. I just met him.



Come home, right now.



I can't, I just can't.



My daughter, you must come soon. If not you will both hurt and it could

be very dangerous.



I haven't even talked to him yet.



Yes you have.



---



I'm sitting in the dark again. I want to get hammered but can't get up

the energy for it. I'm tired and wired and ready to pass out all the

same time. I go for a walk. I need some solitary company.



I live near the ocean and there are miles of deserted beach along here.

I've always liked the ocean, it's calm and quiet and the rushing of the

surf helps me be calm. I drive to the public beach and lock my car up.



The night air is soft and warm against my skin. Using the public

washroom I put on my trunks and a robe and stash my stuff in the trunk

of the car.



I walk along the beach and swim along the parts where the cliff front

juts into the ocean. I come around this cove and find a very quiet

little beach that looks like no one's been there for years. I walk up to

this large rock and sit on it for a bit just looking over the ocean.



The moon's not very bright but I can see pretty clearly.  There's shrubs

as trees all along the cliff base and at the cliff top.



The air smells very fresh and helps to clear my head. I pull the

medallion from my pocket. No, I put it there, why mess with it anymore.

It glows in the moonlight.  I raise my arm and pull back to throw it. As

my arm reaches back and I start to swing, a single word stops me.



No.



I turn and it's her.



My arm comes down and she walks to me, the same silk dress billows in

the night air. She takes my hand, a fire touching me and leaving streaks

on my nerves.



Please don't.



I open my hand and expose the disc to the light.  She covers it with her

hand and it begins to warm.



---



He looks so sad sitting on that rock.  I start to realise the misery I'm

causing him. I'm feeling the same misery.



He's pulling the medallion out and is about to throw it away again.

Pointless. His arm reaches out. I call to him and ask him to stop.



I touch his hand, so cold, like ice.



You're not very happy are you?



No, not really.



Why?



I, I don't know. Things are so dull, so dead. I feel dead, or I did

until I saw you. Since then I've felt so strange.



I'm sorry.



Don't be.



I look in his eyes and see the years of death he speaks of. I see the

mindless monotony and endless repetition of days.  I want to take him in

my arms and hold him but stop.



She looks at me. She looks into me. I see forests, running and

happiness. She smells of pine trees.  I want to take her and hold her

against me but cannot.



She takes thin, silver chain from her neck and threads it through the

medallion. She puts it on my neck and takes my hand.



You don't want to see. You close your eyes. Let's walk.



She leads me up the path and the sky is brilliant with moonlight.  Her

gown, like a veil, barely covers her. It should be erotic but it seems

almost wrong that even this barest of cloth should be covering her.



Up close her beauty is even greater than I had thought. She's just my

height and is slim yet not fragile in any way. She has this carefree

self-confidence, not afraid of anything, yet not a threat.



He's actually handsome in a rough kind of way.  He'd look better if he

didn't scowl all the time. He smells a little ill but I can see the fire

in him.  He's buried it very well but it's there.



She takes me to an old neighbourhood. It used to be a ritzy area in the

'40s but has run down a lot since the then. Everything is louder,

smellier and brighter than it should be.  I can hear the people talking

and watching TV. I'm shocked by some of the things they're saying.



She leads me through the deserted streets. They should be very dark,

this area only has thse old style street lights.  They left them in to

make it look older and more stylish but were lousy as a form of

lighting. That's why the streets are deserted, people are afraid of

getting mugged.  Tonight they seem to light the night up like beacons; I

can see everything.



As I look about I see the trees. They seem to glow in the darkness as do

the bushes and the grass. I can see some cats playing about in front of

a brokendown old house. They have a layer of fire wrapped about them.



I can't figure how she's done this. It has to be some sort of drug but

I've never heard of anything that could do this.



Part of me wants to give in and play her game. Part of me doesn't. I

look to her to make the first move. She looks at me oddly.



What did you do to me? I ask her.



Nothing, she tells me. I've just opened your eyes.



Uhm hmm. You know, if you could package this stuff and sell it, you'd be

rich.



What stuff?



What ever it was you gave me that did all this.  She stopped for a

moment and gave me very hard stare.  It was like she was looking through

me, and the street grew dimmer.



She seemed to gather herself about a decision and began walking again. 

She looked away and we walked in silence for a while.



I turned to her, I felt something had to be said. I'm sorry, but how

else could you have made everything light up like this? The streets grew

dimmer yet as she tightened the grip on my hand. I thought she was going

to hit me for a moment, then she calmed down again.



She stumbled and gracefully caught herself.



Isn't it all very beautiful, she asks me.



Well, the fireworks are pretty, but it's still a dumpy old

neighbourhood, I tell her.



She frowns at me and lets go of my hand. It's dark, very dark, and I go

deaf. I fall to my knees and close my eyes. Moments later I open them

again and I can see but only the normal dim light of the old

streetlights.



That's the dumpy old neighbourhood, she says and runs away.



I try to follow her but she moves too fast. She's gone.



---



I run away from him. I feel a pain in my heart and in my soul.  It's as

if part of me has been ripped free and beaten into the ground. My head

spins and I ache.



I shift with a slowness I've never experienced before, almost as if

something was holding me back. Snarling, I tear my way free from the

dress.  I run without thought to the shore and then along it north to a

wooded area just outside of town.



I chase the stupid rabbits watching me and snap at them as I pass.

Stupid, stupid rabbits. Just like him. So stupid.



I catch one and rip it to shreds, warm blood running over me.  Its

squeal of terror and the feel of its death bring me back. I look down at

the mangled body in shock.



---



I walk along her path as best as I can. I feel as if a part of me had

been ripped free and the wound was pouring my life.



I see her dress on the ground and pick it up.  It suddenly occurs to me

that she's running around the city stark naked.



This thought seems to focus the evening down for me. Until now I was

floating along just experiencing things; now I was thinking about it.

Perhaps that was a mistake.



What just happened wasn't possible.



Chapter 4



I lay next to the small inert form and shiver. I clean the blood away,

licking and swallowing each drop. The rich liquor tastes foul and

defiled with shame.



I have killed in anger. I can't cry in this form but my anguish floods

from me. I lay in the tall grass and press my head to the ground. I

whimper.



I look to the stars and beg their forgiveness.



I get up wearily. I lope back to my home.  Changing was even harder than

before. I almost couldn't get back.  I walk to the clothesline and pull

a sheet down to wrap around me. I enter the old house. Emily's up. I

didn't realize how late it was. She's shocked to see me and asks if I'm

alright. I'm fine. I say and see grabs my arm.



You're a mess.  My God, you've got blood on you! What's happened?

Where's your clothes?



I pull away from her. I can't stand to be near her right now. I'm all

right, I yell at her. and run up to my room. I slam the door behind me

and lock it.



Looking into a mirror, I see that I am a mess. I draw a bath and slip

into it. The hot water helps and the sweat and blood runs off. The

warmth relaxes me and I become drowsy. I finish and wash my hair then

collapse onto the bed.



A moment later I'm asleep.



---



As the sun began to rise I gave up the search. She was gone.  I still

had the medallion and her dress and that's more than I had before, but

she was gone.



I made my way back to the beach and followed the path overlooking the

beach back to my car.  I carefully folded the dress and placed it next

to me and drove home. The medallion was still around my neck.



I called in sick and tried to sleep but couldn't.



The medallion was still warm and I held hed dress to my face.  I could

smell her on it.  She  was  an intoxicating spirit that I had to have.



---



I awoke with a start. I was in bed and Emily was sitting in a chair next

to me.



How did you get in?



I let myself in. I have a key you know, I am your landlord.



You can't just come in here like that.



My dear, you come in here half naked, with blood all over you looking

like you'd just been dragged half a mile behind a horse. There's no

"like that" involved. We are friends arent't we?



Yes, I'm sorry. I felt very small.



Were you raped?



Oh my God! No! No, no! It's not like that at all.



Well, where did the blood come from?  There's no bruises or cuts, I

checked.



It was animal blood. There was an ... accident.



Is that how you lost you clothes?



Sort of. I'd really rather not talk about it. I did a bad thing tonight

and I'm very frightened.



She bundled me up in her arms and held me close.  I didn't want to move

and she rocked me. I started to cry.



Don't worry, we'll find a way out. I'll help you.



I sniffle a thanks and she comforts me. Slowly I fall back to sleep.



---



I've been sitting staring out the window for hours. I can't make myself

do anything. I feel like I'm dying. Somehow she's taken a part of me

away with her and I don't think I want to live without it. I have to see

her again and soon.



---



Emily awakens me again with dinner. The sun is going down. She tells me

not to worry about work, she called and told them I wasn't coming in,

that I was ill.



I told her they'd never believe it; I'm never sick.



You are now, she replied. She was right.



She left me with the dinner and I ate slowly. I wasn't going anywhere

tonight.



---



I gathered up her dress, carefully folded it and slipped it into the

large pocket in an overcoat. I put this on and stepped out. There was no

way I could find her but what could I do; I had to try.



I drove to the neighbourhood we were in the previous night and parked. I

got out and closed my eyes trying to remember all the details.



I noted the street,  Elmhurst, and began walking aimlessly.  The

normally dim streets seemed brighter this evening. I felt the breeze

push me down streets and unseen hands tug me down back alleys until I

came up to an old house turned into a split apartment. She was in there,

I could tell.



---



I felt cut off, blind and deaf. My heart was like a hard lump in my

chest making it hard to breathe. Everything looked dull and pale. Just

the way he saw things.



I tried to focus on the medallion but couldn't.  I didn't have it in

me.



---



I walked to the door. There were no lights on in the lower half bu the

upper half was dimly lit. I could tell that's where she was.



I knew this was her calling me. I felt foolish and a bit angry for being

yanked around like this but I had to see her again. I climb the stairs.



---



I hear the stairs creak. Emily's not home, who could it be? I'm afraid

and that itself frightens me.  I'm falling apart.



---



I reach the door and slowly turn the knob.  It's unlocked and that

doesn't surprise me. I slowly open it and step in. She is there in bed

with a surprised look on her face.



I pull her dress from my pocket and lay it at the foot of her bed. I

believe this is yours, I say to her.



---



It's him! It can't be. How did he find me?



He says I brought him here. I didn't. I couldn't. I couldn't even find

the medallion.



Then I realize, he did it. All by himself, he did it. I leap up and wrap

my arms around him and pray I never have to let him go. He does the same

and says that I won't.



We sat holding each other through the night in that dimly lit room. Not

saying anything, just holding, touching.  We knew we had problems to

work out and soon, but this night was ours alone.



Chapter 5



I woke before him and put togther something for breakfast.  He looked

scruffy, still in his clothes. There's something funny about a person

who sleeps with his mouth open.



I sit at the dresser and look at myself in the mirror. I do look a

fright. I brush my hair and start to feel a bit better.



He stirs and gets up. I watch him in the mirror as he approaches and

puts his arms around me neck. He's like a bear, grumbly in the morning,

shuffling about his cave.  Our cave, really.  He kisses my cheek and

mumbles morning to me.



I point him in the direction of the kitchen and he ambles off.



---



I awake and am disoriented. I'm not in my bedroom. Then I see her and I

remember.



After all the weirdness happening lately... My God, it's only been two

days... I'm glad she's still there. I get up and have to touch her just

to make sure.



I get up, walk over to her and put my arm around her. I give a morning

kiss and wait. I'm feeling a bit hungry and she aims me at the kitchen

without asking.



---



I join him at the table and watch him eat for a bit. He's a mixer. The

kind of person who eats a bit of everything all one time or puts

everything into a sandwich.



I ask her if she would join me and she says she's already has something

to eat. I hate eating alone, especially in someone elses house so she

make some toast and eats it with her coffee.



We have to talk.



Yes, I know.



A lot has happened in the last two days, a lot of it I can't begin it

believe let alone explain.



I'm sorry you've had to go through this, it's been hard on me as well.

When I saw you I thought you might be the one. Then I was certain. Now I

know.



The right one? The right what?



Mate. For me.



What an awful word for it. It sounds like we're going to go into the

woods and do something bestial.



If you'd like. As long as it's with you.



Well thanks for the vote of confidence, but I still have a few

questions. How did you make me see things differently?  Is it drugs? I

hope you're not one of those druggie types.



Oh no! Not drugs! I'm magic!



Right.  Sure.  What do you do for an encore, walk through walls?



If you insist. I get up and walk over to the kitchen door and close it.

I focus through to the bedroom, open my eyes and am still in the

kitchen!



It didn't work! That's never happened before!



Look, calm down. I was only kidding. I stand up and hold her shoulders.

She pulls free.



You don't understand, it's gone. She warned me.  I collapse into a

kitchen chair and begin crying.



Is there anything I can do?



Not now. I have to go back to my parents. They never told me about this.

I have to hope they'll know what to do. I have to go right now!



You can't go now! We... I'm not ready to let you go.



Then come with me. Mother said I should bring you along with me. I need

you with me.



I...I don't know. I can't just go. I've got work.



Then I'll have to go without you. I don't want to, I may not make it

without you but I have to go.



She pulls away from me and heads into the bedroom.  I call out to her.

Wait! If you're going, I'm going with you. I'm not taking a chance on

losing you again.



She runs to me and throws her arms around me and presses her face to my

cheek.



We call our respective offices and arrange for time off.  She had no

problem  but I had a bugger. Fortunately I had last years and this years

vacation accumulated and threatened to take it all off at once if they

didn't take two weeks now. They did.



Then she called her parents and told them we were coming.



We packed and she went down to bid her friend, the landlord here, adieu.

We walked to my car and got in.



---



I went down to say goodbye to Emily. She asked if I would be back. I

couldn't really give her a answer yet.  She hugged me and hoped

everything would work out.  I told her I should be back in two or three

weeks, just in time to pay the next months rent. Don't worry about that

she told me, just sort yourself out.



He came down the stairs and she told him to take of me. He said he'd

try.



---



The town she described was a fair distance away and we'd have to stay

over night somewhere along the way. She asked if we could camp out and I

said why not? So we went to my place to pick up some gear.



While I gathered the stuff up, she walked into my bedroom and went to

the closet and pulled out my old suitcase.  She began to pack for me.

When I asked her how she knew there was a suitcase in there, she smiled

and said she was psychic. Right! Well, I decided it was best to leave

that one alone for now.



I could see that any relation with this woman was going to have a lot of

things best left alone.



We stowed the gear and the suitcase in the trunk and then climbed in the

car. We began our trip.



Chapter 6



The trip out was very relaxing. She didn't talk a great deal, even

though I tried to coax her into conversation about herself.  She claimed

to have a normal mid-west upbringing but for some reason I didn't

believe it.  I couldn't imagine anything about her being normal or

mid-west.



We stopped at small towns long the way for meals and other amenities. 

She had a wild way about her, she would touch things like trees and

people. I've never felt comfortable around people like that, except for

her.  They always seemed threatening to me. If they could touch you,

they had a line on you. I've never liked shaking hands either.



With her though, it was quite different. Touching her was an experience

in itself. I felt a charge like a shock travel between us. A very

pleasent shock.



When I asked her about her problem she was very evasive.  She didn't

want me to know and I told her that was what I felt. She said that I

wouldn't understand and that I'd just have to wait. In time, she told

me, I'd understand everything.



Most of the time we spent riding along with her singing along to the

radio. She had a fantastic voice and could blend in with almost any

song. She even managed to get me singing along with her. Hard to believe

I'd sing along because I have a terrible voice. Actually, I felt

compelled to sing along.



We finally came to a stop in a park with camping facilities.  She wanted

to find a secluded part to be away from the other campers. This was the

wrong season so we had no problem finding a quite out of the way spot

and setup our tent. She had obviously done this before.  I'm not a

camping type. I've only done it from time to time and while I enjoy

camping, I prefer the comforts of home.



I built a fire and we sat around and talked a bit. She seemed nervous

now and not at all tired.  I was exhausted from all the driving and

wanted to get to sleep.



I crawled into my sleeping bag. She said she wouldn't need one but I had

offered mine to her if she wanted it.  If she felt cold, she could join

me in mine.  I wouldn't mind.



---



Small towns have a special feeling to them.  At the same time they're

both very friendly and very inward. Strangers are not well tolerated

until they are known. It's the same way when you meet a dog for the

first time.  All tension and nervousness until it knows you're ok, and

then you're best buddies.



I drove him crazy stopping in small towns and buying farm vegetables and

little knick knacks. I needed to keep my mind off the growing deadness

in me. I needed to keep his mind off me so he wouldn't ask too many

questions.  I fear what he'll say when he find's out the truth.



We stopped in a camp in a beautiful woodland park.  I hoped we could

camp near a lake or river.  We found just the right place and I set up

camp. My man doesn't know how to set a tent.



We put together a fire and sit about it for a while. He's tired and I

tell him to go to sleep. The night air is cool and richly scented. He's

concerned about my getting cold, but I tell him that there's no problem,

I like the night air. At least this is still with me.



He nods off and I begin to stroll along a path to the lake.  I'm

watching the trees, but the small ones are so dim to me now. The path

opens to a clearing on a small rise looking out over the lake. A large

outcrop of rock forms a natural resting place and I sit and watch the

bright flickers of moon on the waters surface.



My hearing, dimmed as my sight, catches the rustlings and stirrings of

the life moving under the brush.  I want to run and join them, to be

freed of the horrid weight growing on me. I try to shift but cannot.



My heart grows leaden and I start to cry.  A long calling howl of some

lost wolf in the woods stabs my soul and my desolation becomes

uncontrollable.



A crunch of underbrush behind me and a grey form moves to me. His soft

tongue wipes the tears from my cheeks. I wrap my arms about the heavy

fur of his neck and bury my face. He whines his concern and gently pulls

away. A moment later and he's gone.



On the path he stands, dressed only in shorts. He lays the sleeping bag

on the ground, moves to me and gathers me up.  I fall into his warmth,

tears still running down my cheeks. He kisses my tears and tells me that

he couldn't sleep.



I pull him down to the soft grass, on top of me.  I want to be covered,

to be surrounded by him. Never to be left alone or separated from him.



I free him from his clothing and he, me from mine. Our skin touches and

his weight presses onto me. I pull him into me and our desperation and

my fear drive our frenzied coupling. We bite and growl and groan as the

fire singing along our nerves burns away any control.



I feel the clenching and the rippling as he move deep into me. He cries

out and presses harder as he peaks. I feel the rush of warmth within me

and moan as we join in incandescent release.



He rolls us on our side, still within me.  His arms slide around me and

pulls me to him. The heat of his skin soaking into me, the scratchy rub

of his chest and air around us mingles with our scents.  The moment

seems endless.



He pulls the bag around us and we drift into sleep.



---



The morning wakens us. I feel cramped but it doesn't matter to me. 

She's still pressed against me.  I cannot believe the experience I had

last  night. Nothing ever felt so intense and complete as that.



I kiss her and she awakens.



She kisses me back and hugs me. Standing she tells me she's going to

swim in the lake. She stands there, a perfect woman. Every part

perfectly proportioned and placed just right. A female symphony. She ran

to the lake and waded in. Seconds later she was in the lake and

thrashing about spraying gouts of water about her.



I ran in after her and was given a great splash of water as a chilling

gift. I shouted my surprise and she pulled me under. I felt her warm

lips kiss me and a hand slid between my thighs that pressed and them

moved up me to my chest. We broke through the surface.



The water flowed over her and she told me that last night was very

special. She said we must do that again. I looked at her with a question

and she touched my lips with a finger, smiled and told me not now, but

soon.



We dressed and returned to the campsite.  Breaking camp, the gear was

folded and stowed into the car. She happier but still distracted or

somehow hurt.  It pained me to see her this way, but I knew she would

let me help when the time was right.



The rest of the trip to her town was fairly uneventful. We stopped at a

couple more towns along the way and she met an old friend in a town not

too far from hers. He hugged and kissed her and they spoke of old times.

 I surprised myself by not feeling even the least bit of jealosy or

anxiety. I felt so much a part of her;  I had no fear of losing her.



---



The old town hadn't changed much. We drove through slowly and I looked

out for old friends. They waved and called to me. I waved back and told

them I'd see them later.



We broke free of the town and continued up the highway a bit to the

turnoff which led to the farm. We pulled in and parked next to a large

truck I hadn't seen before.



Entering the house, I saw the town elder speaking with my parents. When

they saw me, they rose and walked to me. My mother took my head in her

hands and looked deep into my eyes. She caressed my face and gave a

little frown.



You've lost the gift haven't you.



I think so. I feel like it's gone.



And this man. Is he the one?



Yes.



You're certain.



More so than anything.



She hummed and turned to my father. He looked at her and they touched

for a moment.  The Elder watched impassively and moved to the man I

loved.



I must look into you. I must see your soul. Will you agree?



He looked to me and then back at the Elder.  He was nervous but said

yes. The Elder gripped his head and stared deep into him. They stood

like this for several minutes and then the Elder pulled away.



He is very strong and has the gift. He has always had it by his parents

but it is deep buried in him. If he agrees, he can join us.



---



When we entered her house there were a couple who just stepped from

American Gothic and a man who while very old, fairly shined with life.

These people seemed very odd and I must admit, scared me a little.



When he told me he had to look into me, I was ready to run fast and far

from that rustic looking farm but held back.  I looked to my love and

asked her soul to tell me if it was safe. I turned back and agreed.



The man took my head in a vice lock grip that felt like it would crush

my skull. I started to shiver and then his eyes locked onto mine and I

couldn't move.



It felt like fingers were sliding through my mind turning the folds of

memory over and touching each experience, weighing, caressing and

returning each until my life was completely known. Then a pain bore into

me as he burrowed deeper into my soul and slowly pried free long dead

fires extinguished before my life, before my parents life.



Then he slid free of me and I was alone.  His hands weren't on me and I

felt like collapsing and throwing up.



Her old man came over to me and helped me up the stairs and put me down

on a large soft bed with a quilt over it and I passed out.



---



I awoke screaming. Some nameless horror was oozing over my body and I

couldn't rip it free. Fingers were digging into me and ripping my flesh

from me, stealing me away.



The light came on and my eyes seared.  Something wrapped itself around

me and I suddenly felt calm.  I shuddered and closed my eyes.



Opening them to the light again, the room swam into clear view and she

was there holding me.



I couldn't take that again. It was time.



What is going on? These things are not possible!  If you won't help me

understand, I can't stay.  I'll completely come unglued and run around

gibbering if this keeps up.



She looks into my face and looks grim. I can tell she knows she has to

tell me her great secret and I feel like an ass for forcing her like

this, but no person should be hit with something out of a Twilight Zone

episode in real life. It's not fair.



She tells me that if she tells me she'll lose me.  I tell her that if I

don't understand soon she'll lose me anyway either to sanity or

insanity. She nods and leads me downstairs.



Chapter 7



They were still there. The old man and her parents. The old man, the

Elder as she called him, scared the bejesus out of me. Anybody who could

do what that man could do should be put somewhere far away, somewhere

safe.



I put on my most carefree attitude and slumped into an armchair near the

couch. Ok, I said to them, what the hell is going on?



The Elder sat back on the couch, crossed his legs and gave me a look

that would petrify water.



You are a special case, he told me. You have the gift but it has been

buried by your parents and their parents for who knows how long back.

Once someone has the gift, it cannot be taken away. But it can be sealed

off, covered and forgotten.



Hold it, I said to him. You mention a gift. What gift? I don't have any

gifts!



He turned to my love and asked her if she had told me of herself. She

said no and looked a little ashamed.



He told her that it was this deceit that buried her and hid her. When

two souls are this close without joining, they suffer each other. She

looked even more ashamed and I wanted to strike this Elder for making

her hurt. She looked up at me and stopped me with her glance.



Well, I was conviced by now that I had walked into a nest of truely

insane people. I'd read about small isolated cultures like the Amish or

the Hutterites and how their neighbours tended to think of them as

pretty weird, but this was different.



This wasn't a throw-back culture trying to shut out the rest of the

world, they really seemed normal and at the same time all these little

weirdnesses kept me spinning. Actually, more than spinning: I was flat

out terrified. What that guy did to me had to be the best example to

hypnosis I've ever seen.



The Elder has stopped talking to the others and turned back to me. He

told me that my soul had to be freed if there was to be any joining of

souls. That's the way he talked, "joining of souls." I had come a far

distance for this woman. Even now, as I looked at her, I felt a fire

grow in me. No, not a lust, not that kind of fire, but a hunger, a need

to be near and be a part of her and to have her near and with me.



Until I had seen her for that first time, my God, only four days ago, I

had felt bored yet fairly content. Now I felt this gaping hold in me

that screamed to be filled. I knew only she could do that, but in all

honesty, I didn't know if I could take much more of the weirdness.



The Elder drew me back by asking if I truely loved her, and I stared at

him. I then looked to her again and he knew the answer.



The Elder began to speak some ritual talk about joining their people and

following their rules and becoming one of their people. I was startled

when he talked about killing and how it was only to be done to get food

or to defend yourself. I calmed a little when I realized he was talking

about hunting animals. His spiel was a ritualized speech that got

stranger as it went on. He talked about not telling others about their

"clan", as he called them and about running with them, which I didn't

understand at all.



Finally he finished and asked if I was ready to decide. I wanted to be

with her, and I was damned if some weird religion was going to stop me.

So, I'd join and then if it got too weird, I'd try and talk her into

quitting or something. She walked upto me and brushed her hand along my

cheek and told me to think hard about this. I turned to the Elder and

steeled myself.



I'm ready.



He removed the thick black coat he wore and laid it on the couch. To my

surprise, he then removed his shirt and began removing his trousers. I

looked to the rest of them and they seemed to take this in stride as it

people stripping naked was a normal thing.



A moment later, he had completely finished. He was well built for an

older man, muscular and slim. Suddenly he called to me and simply said

"prepare." As I watched, he seemed to blur and become fuzzy. I felt a

sharp pain in my head but forced myself to watch. The blur seemed to

coalesce into a different form and slowly come back into focus. Before

me was a large grey wolf! I staggered back in shock and hit a wall

behind me. The wolf lept at me and I put up my arms to ward it away. I

felt the sharp white teeth puncture my skin then pull away. I fell to

the ground and cried out in terror. The great beast still stood over me,

its hot breath on my face and soft fur on my arm. I could see into the

golden eyes and perceived a flare of green light. It laughed at me!



There was a grey blur as the animal lept from me and flew, it seemed,

back to the couch. The shaggy beast blurred and seemed to reshape into

the Elder.



I looked at my arm and saw the punctures in my arm, the rills of blood

trickling and realized that this was not a dream or some weird cult. I

lept up and dashed for the door. I threw the door open and ran out into

the night. Three dark shpaed detached themselves from the night and sped

past me. I tried to lose them but could not. I knew I was doomed and was

about to give up when I hit something large. I got a grip on myself for

a moment, just long enough to recognize my car.



I tore the door open and dived in pulling it closed behind me. A grey

shape thudded onto the cars hood and a black and grey face peered in. I

could see the green fire of its eyes and the sharp white teeth. I dug

for the keys and slammed them into the ignition and twisted. The car

lurched forward and reached down and put the car in neutral and twisted

the key again. It started and I floored it. The car spun around and

threw the animal from itself and in a shower of soil and pebbles shot

away from the farm house.



Speeding along the back road I suddenly saw a man in the middle of the

road. As I bore down on him I could see it was the Elder. I slammed the

brakes down but couldn't stop. The car began to slide and coasted right

into the Elder and finally came to a stop sideways in the road. I took

the flashlight from the glove compartment and stepped from the car. I

shone the light along the road but couldn't see anything. I checked the

front and sides but did not want to stray too far from the road. I

listened but did not hear any groans or calls for help. I climbed back

in the car and restarted the engine and drove off, determined not to

stop until I was back home again or at least someplace with lights and

lots of regular people.



---



My mother and father and the Elder returned. They padded to the center

of the room and returned to their human form. My mother took me up in

her arms and told me not to worry.



I held her and held back the anger and sorrow I felt. I turned to the

Elder and demanded to know why such a display was put on. The man had

never seen a change nor had he even known about that ability! He was

completely unprepared and that stunt probably scared him away forever

and we were damned lucky he wasn't killed outright by the shock!



The Elder made a noncommital remark about shocking his ability back and

that was a risk worth taking. How dare he! How dare he take a risk with

my love without talking to me first. Rage washed over me and I felt my

eyes burn. I changed, dug my way free from my clothes and ran out the

front door, my long legged loping stride carrying me far out into the

pasture area before it struck me. I had changed! I skidded into a stop

and tripped into a roll, my legs all tangled together like a cub. I rose

and shook myself off and sat down in the sweet grass. I could see

clearly in the brilliant moonlight and realized what the Elder had

meant.



I loped back to my parents house, slunk into the living room. My parents

and the Elder were sitting on the couch sipping some highly spiced tea

of some sort. The odour tickled my nose. I stepped into the room and

they waited. I changed back and took up a sarong sitting on the chair

next to me.



I thought you might want that, my mother said to me.



I turned to the Elder. You did that on purpose. How could you?



It worked, he replied.



But what about him, I cried out. I've lost him!



Not exactly, the Elder replied. He will need help in just a few days.

You should head back as soon as possible. You have proven that he is

coming to us, you couldn't have changed without him.



He'll never talk to me again. I saw his face, he was in terror! Dad,

Mom, please talk to him and get him to help me.



My father came over to the chair and stood behind me. He put his arms

around my shoulders and kissed my cheek. My beloved daughter, he began,

the Elder is the wisest man in town and knows all of the secrets of our

clan. If he feels this is the correct route, then you must follow this

path.



I turned to my mother and hoped she would be on my side, but she too

agreed with the Elder. She reminded me that my love was really of the

clan, and that would bring him back when he was ready. She told me to

get a good night sleep and that the next day, they would send me back to

the city to help him prepare. I felt miserable. I couldn't go to him

now. I couldn't remove that picture of him lying against the wall his

eyes wide with shock and horror as the Elder pinned him down. I'm not

sure I could have taken that myself.



I climbed the stairs and prepared to go to sleep, but was too restless

and angry. I needed to work off this anger. I opened the window and

changed again. I jumped to the porch roof and then to the ground. I ran

off to the back road and headed out to the grove where the gang used to

hang out when I was young.



I ran hard and felt the crunch of gravel under my paws. I dived into the

woods, scaring the small denizens up at this dark hour. The moon was up,

flooding the forest with a sliver glow as bright as daylight to my eyes.

The branches striking me were my prey and I bit at them drawing the sour

sap. I growled and snarled at them and finally burst through the trees

into a large open area in the woods.



The smells of my childhood flooded over me as I slid to a stop. I walked

forward into the argent glade. Children still came here; I could smell

the warm musk of a young cubs fur, the excited scent of a pair exploring

each others bodies, the sweet smell of exertion after a hunt.



While I was alone, I had no life mate as so many of my friends did, I

still felt a part of my friends and we shared so much.



I remember my first hunt, my clumsy body tumbling over a small field

mouse, later to become my favourite hunt food. I remember my first heat

and my first mating. So desperate for that joining and yet so terrified.

When we locked, we paniced of course, even though we learned all about

that at school. Poor Stevie, he was so embarrased by that, everybody

teased him for days.



There was a rustling from the woods and a handsome male came through. He

padded over to me and brushed his muzzle against mine.



You called, he said to me.



Stevie! Goodness, you've grown so.



You have too. I heard you were back in town and I had to come over and

see how the clans prodigal daughter was doing. When I got to your place,

I saw you leave by the window and followed, discretely of course.



Of course. Since when have you been discrete?



Now, now. I've missed you very much, you know?



I've missed you too. Have you found a life mate yet?



Uhm, yes. Do you remember Jenny.



Jenny, that runt!



He lept forward and bit my muzzle. I yowled. Sorry, sorry, I didn't

meant anything by it.



Don't you talk about her that way. She's not a runt. She filled out

quite well and well... she needs me.



I could see that he needed her too. I shifted and held his furry body

and kissed him. I'm sorry it couldn't have been me, I said to him.



I'm sorry too. You know I'll always love you. You were my first love.



And you were mine, I said honestly, this is a different kind of love.



I know, he said quietly.



I grabbed the fur at the side of his head and pulled him up so we were

looking eye to eye. You are the closest person to me next to my life

mate and don't forget that Steven.



He whined and licked my face then cradled himself in my lap. I gently

bit his ear and scratched his cheek. He had grown into a very handsome

young wolf and I knew I'd enjoy making love with him but I just didn't

want to. He licked a nipple and I gave him a gentle shove then shifted.

I snapped at him and then broke into run. He chased me and we ran in and

out of the woods. He would catch up to me and leap on me. We would

tumble together, snapping at the loose fur on each others neck and

arms.



Finally, exhausted, he collapsed against a log and I fell across his

legs. He nuzzled my ears and neck and rested his head on my neck. We

dozed for a while like this then rose up and shifted together. He looked

just as handsome as a human. I hugged him again and kissed him and told

him that I would see him again. He touched my cheek and then shifted

back and took off in the direction of town. I shifted shortly after and

trotted back to my old home.







Chapter 8



Sometime after calming down to the point where I wasn't speeding

anymore, I was ready to just be scared out of my wits. What kind of

monsters lived in that town? God, people who could change shape! What do

you call them? Werewolves? That's just not possible. I saw it, and it

still isn't possible.



God, my arm hurts. I pulled back the sleeve and saw the puncture marks

in my arm. They weren't human; they looked like a dog's teeth marks. No,

no, no, no, no.



Oh no! She was one of them! I still wanted and needed her but she was

one of them. I'd made love to her, to a wolf. Oh God, that's sick. I

felt dirty, soiled, cheated, raped.



I drove on in the night passing small towns until I was so exhausted

from non-stop driving and non-stop adrenaline that I was weaving about

the road and nodding off.



I stopped in the next town and found a motel. I checked in and spent the

next hour in the shower. I couldn't wash the awful feeling from me. I

watched TV for a while then passed out on the bed.



My sleep was rough and punctuated by sudden awaking, screaming from

flitting memories of dreams so horrible that even those wisps made me

shiver.



I would look at my arms and watch for new hair. When I went into the

shower, I stopped at the mirror to look at my face and see if my teeth

had changed to fangs. They hadn't. I was still completely me with dark

saggy bags under my eyes, a ringing headache and an arm that felt as if

it were about to burn off.



I was growing very concerned about the arm. I began driving and made it

into the city just as the throbbing in my arm became intense. I went to

a hospital near my apartment and checked into emergency. When I told the

nurse that I had been bitten by a dog, she took one look at the arm and

led me to a cubicle. The doctor asked if the dog was rabid and I said

no. She asked if I was sure and I said very sure. She injected an

antibiotic and an anti-tetanus shot, then wrapped a gauze bandage about

it. She gave me a prescription for penicillin and sent me home with the

warning that if it got any worse, I was to come back right away.



I assured her that I would and then finally made my way back to my

apartment. The shot seemed to help, because the pain was subsiding. I

began moving things from the car trunk to the suite and suddenly

realized that all of her stuff was still in my car. I couldn't throw

them out, so I carefully collected her bags and dropped them off at her

place.



Her landlord was surprised to see me alone but I didn't give her a

chance to ask any questions. I headed back home and finished unpacking.

I didn't have the faintest idea as to what I could do about all this,

but as long as I could keep myself busy I wouldn't have to think too

hard about any of it.



Finally, after unpacking, cleaning my apartment twice and washing all my

clothes and ironing them and even doing my income tax, I had run out of

things to do.



I made a very large drink and flopped into my easy chair. I was tired

and confused. I sat there and for a while allowed my mind to idle. I

still wanted her and still needed her. I could feel it like a physical

ache, but there was no way I could have anything to do with creatures

like that. Hell, I didn't even like dogs! Good God! I really am going

round the bend.



I took a long pull at my drink and look once again at my arm. I was

finding those teeth marks to be a kind of holding on point. You know how

you pick at a scab when you know perfectly well that doing that may

infect it? Or how sometimes you find yourself humming a song you can't

stand?



Half of me wanted to look and not see them, and half of me was glad it

was still there, just to prove it really happened and that I wasn't

insane.



I felt restless and weary at the same time. It was only eight o'clock

but I decided to try and sleep.



---



The sound of dogs barking woke me in the morning. Mother came in and

gave me breakfast which I ate. I came downstairs and joined my parents

in the living room.



Mother took my hand and reminded me that my love was already one of the

clan before we had met. He just had his gift weakened by force. I was

known that many people throughout the world had the gift but during the

middle ages, because of the persecution of the church many of our people

took to being strictly normal and either married out of the clan or

carefully prevented the changes.



She told me of the ways of passing the gift to someone who doesn't have

it and reminded me that a bite is the most dramatic but also the most

effective way as the hormone that triggers the change accumulates in

saliva.



She looked at me as if I should see where all this was going. Everybody

learned about this in high school. Then it hit me. He was bitten! That

meant the changes were taking place right now and he had no one to guide

him. The biting techique was so cliche and so excessive that almost no

one ever used it anymore. I had almost completely forgotten about it.



This was terrible! He would start changing within a couple of days and

would have to learn how to cope with the new body he'd have. He would

have to deal with new senses and awareness. In the olden days many a

newcomer would go insane. That's what caused the werewolf scares of the

middle ages.



I knew I'd have to go find him and that I'd need help. I called Steve up

and told him the problem. He told me to wait and he'd be right over.



He arrived within fifteen minutes and hurried in the front door. Jenny

was with him. He was right, she had filled out very well. The two of

them made a striking couple. She walked up to me and gave me her hands.

I felt her sadness for me and thanked her. Steve quickly agreed to come

and Jenny would come along with us. Having been separated so suddenly

from my own life-mate, I couldn't even think about keeping them apart.



I thanked my mother and father and they told me to bring him back as

soon as he agreed to and then they could give him the full measure of

help he would need.



Steve led me to his car and we all got in and began our trip back to the

city.



---



The night was filled with strange images and sights. I rolled back and

forth as fire burned my gut and ice numbed my head. I sweated and

shivered, wrapped tightly in my sheets.



I tried to stand and reeled as the room spun end over end around me. I

had to get to the washroom before I threw up. Ahead of me, bands of

brilliant coloured light rippled over the wall and furniture and small

spasms did the same over my skin.



I reached for the bathroom doorknob only to see my hand pass through it

and the door. I yanked it back and collapsed to the floor.



I must have passed out for a period because when I opened my eyes again,

the room was filled with light. I felt beaten and hurt all over but at

least the spinning had slowed to a constant rocking. Now I could stand

up.



I looked out the living room window and saw a dark sky. The stars were

like sharp daggers of light, each a different tone of music. The walls

of the room themselves cast a light that was a myriad flecks of colour,

changing and shifting.



I clutched at a chair as a particularily large wave rocked the apartment

and threatened to spin me to the floor.



The floor bucked and I was thrown. I landed hard on the carpet, on my

back looking at the ceiling. I was looking directly at a fly walking on

the ceiling and it was a little beacon of blue light.



I looked at my hand. There were two hands, one in the other. As I

watched, the inner hand lifted out of the darker outer hand and the

outer hand fell to my side. I pushed against the darker body and I was

free. I stood next to my old heavy body; it lay there glowing a dark

red. I should have frightened out of my wits but now I felt calm.



---



We had been driving in shifts all day and speeding a bit but we got in

to the city and arrived at his apartment quite late the same day. I

could feel that something was happening even from here. Steve and Jen

said they could feel it too.



We went up to his suite and found the door locked. We focused through

and stood in the dark living room. Our eyes adjusted to the lighting and

I was the first to see his inert body lying on the ground. I began to

run to it but Jen stopped me and pointed up to a corner of the room near

the ceiling.



There he was, sitting sort of cross-legged in mid-air watching all of

us.



It's happening faster than it should, Steve said. Jen, this is your

department.



She walked over to where the ghostly form was hovering and reached out

to him. He started and began to drift back through the wall. She gently

took his wrist in her hand and slowly pulled him back to where we were.



She touched his hand to the inert body on the floor and pressed it in.

The hand sunk in upto the wrist. He started to resist. I could hear him

say that he did not want to go back, but she slowly pressed more of him

back into the lifeless form.



He seemed to give up resisting and moved to a better position and seemed

to lay down into his body and snuggled his way in. The last of the

glowing form disappeared.



Jen moved closer and listened to his chest. His heart hasn't started,

she said. This is your department, Steve.



Steve move over and placed a hand on the still chest. A glowing hand

lifted free and plunged in. The muscles of his arm squeezed and then the

etherial hand was withdrawn. My love coughed and gasped. His eyes opened

and looked about with terror. Jen touched his forehead and he went to

sleep.



We lifted his sleeping form and carried him into his bedroom. Laying him

in bed, I undressed him and covered him with a blanket.



Jen looked at me and told me a wolf form would have to be paired to him

or else he would revert to a wolf protoform. She asked if I would like

to do it and I deferred to her wisdom. I could see that she and Steve

had the making an especially fine Elder couple.



We returned to the living room and Jen sat in a chair. As I watched, her

soul-form detached and did a strange turn and vanished. Moments later it

returned and was carrying a thin silver thread. She walked to the

bedroom and stood over the bed. She reached into his body and pulled a

silver thread from him and wound the two together. The thread she

brought in became diffuse and formed a cloud around his body and then

was absorbed.



I hope you like this form. I think he'll be very handsome. I hope he'll

be happy with it.



I'm sure he will, I told her. I know you have good taste, I said turning

to Steve. He grinned and blushed a little.



He's not ready yet, but this should get him through the worst of it.

He'll have to come back to the town soon, only the Elder has the skill

and power to handle this kind of thing. I've never worked a trapped gift

before.



I'll stay here until we reach the end, he told me. I thanked them and

gave them the key to my place. They could stay there until things start

to happen.



Steve and Jen got ready to leave and I thanked them for their help. I

kissed them both and walked them to their car.



I checked out his fridge and made up a list of things we would need over

the next few days. I knew he'd be sleeping pretty soundly for the next

few hours and so he'd be safe. I found his keys in his pants pocket and

headed out to get some groceries.



---



Running. Panting. Thick woods pulling against my face. I'm warm and

happy. I stop and smell the fresh musk of the forest floor. Turning

about to press the grass and twigs down, I lay in the brush and sleep.



I awake and look about. This isn't woods. What is this place? Things are

over me, I'm inside some place and it smells of humans. I have to get

out. I leap but the thing I'm on gives way and I fall to the ground. The

ground is covered in something that catches my claws and makes a ripping

sound. I run about this place and see no way out.



I look about and see stars and run for them only to be stopped by some

hard thing I can see through. I whine in my excitement. I want out of

this place. Before I can stop myself, I dribble urine on the ground and

start to paw at the hard stuff.



My want becomes desperation and suddenly I'm out in foul smelling air on

a cold hard ground. I look out over a ledge and see I'm high up over

ground. Again I become desperate and feel a tension grow in me.

Suddenly, I'm a few feet above the ground and falling.



I land on my belly and yelp as my groin hits the hard surface. I whine

and limp away. I can smell salty water in the air and follow the scent.



---



I unlock the door and knew in an instant that I'd blown it. I set the

bags on the counter and rushed to the bedroom. He wasn't there. Damn!



The door was locked, so he couldn't have left that way. I shifted and

sniffed the bed. I could detect two different scents on it, human and

wolf. This was bad, that meant he's done his first change.



I tracked his scent out into the living room. I scented a small trace of

urine and could smell the axiety and stress in it. I shifted back and

walked to his room again. I reached into his pants and withdrew the

medallion I gave him. The bond was still there, I could use it to find

him, even in a wolf form.







Chapter 9



Everything was so noisy and there were these large moving things that

shined and blinded me as they passed. I dived through when there was a

gap and nearly was hit. My tail struck one of these fast moving things

and a pain rushed up my spine. I cried out but kept on running.



Ahead was a nice dark area without those big things everywhere. I ran

for it and passed some older humans. They started shouting and I turned

and kept on running.



I kept moving throught the dark areas for a long time until I went past

an old place that seemed familiar. Something should be in there that I

wanted very badly. I wasn't sure what that thing was, but I really

wanted it.



I knew I couldn't get in there and howled a long moan of frustration. I

set off again towards the water. I entered a large area of spread out

trees. Not a forest but like one. There were plently of people smells

around here.



A large dog came barrelling over and started challenging me for this

territory. I lept at him and pulled him to the ground. I bit his thigh

and chased him away. Sniffing one of his old marks I lifted my leg and

sprayed a marker over his.



I trotted away and headed deeper into the woods. The trees grew closer

togther and led to a path. I followed it. There were fewer people smells

here and the air was so much cleaner.



I moved out onto the sand and lay down. After a while, I walked over to

a rock at the edge of a cliff and squatting, I relieved my bladder. I

returned to the large rock I was laying next to and sat down. Feeling an

itch, I crouched over and began licking the mound between my legs. I

wash all the urine off and clean my fur.



I'm exhausted and nod off to sleep.



---



I string the medallion around my neck and shift. I focus myself to the

ground and begin tracking him. The scent is not very old but all the

background city smells are making it hard to track.



I concentrate on the medallion and feel him lying in the sand. Sand? He

has to have gone to the beach. Crossing the main street, I head into the

residential area and head for my little beach.



I didn't think it very likely, but he may have had enough sense of mind

to go there.



I move quickly through the dark streets until I reach the park by the

cliff. My friend, the Alsation, runs out and sniffs me.



He's happy to see me but he's hurt. Some other dog has bitten him. He

tells me that the dog was male and that he'd never seen this dog around

here. He wanted to play but I couldn't right now.



I licked his muzzle and headed out to the beach.



There he was.



I shift and walk to him.



---



A strange smell woke me from a strange hunt dream. I looked up and saw a

human approach. I leap up and begin to run away.



A warm smell drifted from her to me and I heard something tell me to

stop. I did and she walked over to me. I didn't feel afraid.



She grabbed the fur around my face and I whined as she pulled my face up

to hers. I grew nervous and tried not to look in her face. I put a paw

on her arm and tried to push her away but I couldn't gather up enough

strength.



She stared into my eyes. I knew those eyes. I knew her. Oh my God! I was

a wolf!



I tried to pull away from her but she had a tight grip on my fur. My

God, I was a wolf, I had fur. I started thrashing about. I had licked

myself down there. I did it the way dogs did it. I snapped at her and

used my hind legs (no.. my legs) to push myself away. I pressed down on

my tail (my tail, oh no no) and finally escaped.



I tumbled over my now clumsy legs and fell. She was on me in an instant.

I yelped and barked (it's not my fault) and she had me. A glowing hand

moved out of her hand and slid into my head. I howled in terror and

passed out.



---



He passed out, thank God. I hated seeing him that way, his eyes were

bulging out in terror. I gathered his shaggy body up and hugged him to

me.



Jen had done a great job in selecting the form. He was the handsomest

male I'd ever seen. He was big and very husky, dark grey and black with

just a touch of brown and a bright white belly. Very male. I ran my

hands over his belly and looked. Yes, very male.



I kissed his forehead and waited for a moment to gather my strength. I

knew when he awoke, all hell would break loose. I focused on him and

felt inside his mind for the trigger. I shifted him back to his normal

form and allowed him to awaken.



---



I was floating in a cottony substance and suddenly was lying on cold wet

sand. I looked up and saw her. It all came rushing back in on me. I

pulled away from her and stood back.



You monsters, I shouted, what did you do to me? You've turned me into a

freak! My anger boiled and I could feel my face burn.



You're not a freak, she said calmly.



Not a freak! I'm a god-damned werewolf! That's not exactly the

boy-next-door!



So, I'm a werewolf too. Born and bred. And where I come from, the boy

next door is one too. I know, I dated him.



Oh God! This is fucking insane! There can't be any such things as

werewolves. That's just legends and mythology. People made them up to

scare kids. Ohhh.. Next you'll say there are vampires and ogres and

trolls I don't want to be a devil worshipper and run around eating

children and getting shot at.



Devil worship? I'm presbyterian! And I've never eaten a child in my

life! You watch too many bad horror movies.



She walked over to me and touched my arm. I jumped back. Her touch felt

like fire against my cold skin. Stay back, don't touch me, I warned

her.



It's not over, she said to me.



There's more? I cried out. Isn't this enough? You've ruined my life and

turned me into a monster and you tell me there's more!



I didn't turn you into a monster, you idiot! You've always had the

ability in you, you just didn't know. And don't forget you agreed to do

it.



Agreed to do what! You never said "Hey, say yes and you can become a

werewolf!" did you? No! Just some malarky about a gift I had. Some

gift.



She walked up and slapped me hard in the face. Shut up, she yelled. How

dare you critisize my people when you know nothing about them. Listen,

you and I are paired for life, we share a common soul. You'd better get

used to the idea fast because if you don't soon, you're going to be very

seriously screwed up. Right now you are both wolf and man separate and

if we don't get your two halves together, you'll go nuts.



Like I'm not now, I said rubbing the stinging cheek.



She told me that we were going back to the apartment to discuss this

sanely and to get ready. Ready for what I asked her and began to protest

when she told me she was going to help me back into my wolf form. I told

her I wanted nothing to do with that. When she pointed out that neither

of us had clothing on I couldn't think of anything to say.



She started to approach me but I jumped and then stepped back from her.

I wasn't going to let her touch me again. Suddenly a wave of nausea

caught me and I tripped.



The cool, wet sand smashed against me and I felt strung out. I closed my

eyes and when I opened them again I was struck by a hideous din of

crashing noise and insanely bright lights. A booming voice shouted

Damn!



I lept up and started running.



---



He changed again. I've got to get him back soon. The changes are going

to kill him if they aren't controlled.



I remember one person who was brought to our clan too late. I remember

watching in horror as his body changed faster and faster and then part

would be human and others would be wolf at the same time. Finally he

spread thinner and thinner until he was gone!



It was the most awful thing I'd ever seen.



I changed and started after him. He was already out of sight, but I had

his scent, and the medallion.



---



The world was night and day. Everything shone with a brilliant internal

light that blinded me. The colours were so intense and completely wrong.

Trees were yellow with long red streaks along their trunks. The sand was

a deep blue with beautiful glassy sparkles.



And the sounds that filled my head and were so deep. Loud chirping and

sharp grating sounds drilled painfully into my ears. I could hear the

low rumbling of two people talking but could not see them any where. The

crunching of sand under my feet was as if earthquakes and landslides

were all around me.



I whimpered and the screeching sound shocked me. I pulled my ears back

and tried to keep my eyes closed as much as I could.



The oily odour of the water mixed with the heavy pungency of the salt

made me want to gag. I could smell the stench of peoples feet lingering

on the sand. I could smell the heavy muskiness of my fur and the male

smells from between my thighs.



I wanted to lay down in the sand and die. Or at least sleep, but I

couldn't take the risk. The clamour and stench made it too hard to stop

moving. I wanted to scream and couldn't even do that.



After what seemed like eternity of running, dashing through the firey

woods and the luminescent waters, I gave up. I loped to the water and

tried to drink some, I was so thirsty. The water was scalding and

freezing. It hurt.



I moved to a bushy area and collapsed. I was so frightened and confused.

I had to do something to shout my anger. I lifted my head and trying to

scream, gave forth to the longest, most mournful sounding howl the world

has ever heard.



Doing that made me feel better, so I did it again. If I was going to be

miserable, then let the world know about it. I didn't care anymore.



When I was all howled out, I rested my head in my forepaws and closed my

eyes. There was another wave of nausea and this time I did throw up. Not

a pleasant thing for a wolf to do. I moved away from the putrid mass and

dropped to the ground.



I must have passed out for a bit because when I opened my eyes things

seemed to have improved. The world looked more or less correct, except

that everything was in black and white with muted, faint washes of

colour, and still sounding like the tone is set too far to the bass, but

at least I wasn't being blinded or deafened.



Well, this was better. If you can call being trapped in the form of a

male wolf as better. I thought of the woman (or whatever) I'd left and

felt mixed hatred and love. Even now, lying here in the brush on my

side, panting and scratching my ear with my hind leg (good grief, that's

some reflex! I didn't want to do that) I still wouldn't completely

believe in this. I hoped that somehow it would turn out to be some weird

drug trip that old man set me on.



I had to agree with her on one score, I did need her. There was a

growing longing to be with her, and yet at the same time, I couldn't go

to her. I was too afraid of what might happen.



I lay there for some time. Lucky for me this little grotto was in a

cliff face and couldn't be reached from the ground. I slept for some

time, drifting in and out of sleep. I found that I couldn't stay asleep

for too long, and I would grow sleepy if I tried to stay awake.



As the day wore on, I found that I was staying awake longer and by

nightfall, I was wide awake. I looked at myself, determined to see just

what I was going to have to put up with.



My hands had become ridiculously large paws with black claws that joined

into long slender arms. My nose didn't seem all that longer, just wider

and there were these patches of shading I could see that were different

in each eye. That bothered my until I put it out of my mind.



I continued the inventory: the bent hind legs, the bushy tail, the heavy

fur of my chest thinning down to the lighter fur of my belly and further

down the very different equipment that I had explored a little too

closely so recently.



My reflexes were different now as well. I had an itch in my arm and

wanted to scratch it. Before I could raise my paw and scratch, I found

myself nibbling at the area instead. I confess that there were certain

cleaning activities that I didn't want to think about.



I stood up and walked around a bit. I have to say this, a wolfs body

sure feels nice to move around in. You move so easily, no tension. As I

moved, I was aware of a gentle bobbing sensation between my thighs that

pulled on my belly and a similar, yet stronger sensation at the base of

my spine as my tail echoed my pace.



I tried moving my tail and at first couldn't make it do what I wanted.

It just wanted to hang there straight down. Eventually I found that I

could make it wag a little my trying to clench the muscles in my rump

but it wasn't really wagging.



Suddenly, a there was, well, sort of a rippling in my mind. I had

memories of meeting more wolves and being happy and wagging my tail. It

was. I could feel the swaying shift of weight as it swung from side to

side. I turned my head around, now easy to do almost all the way around,

and could see the bushy flag swinging.



I tried stopping it. It did. Then starting back up. It did this too.

Then I realized something. I was proud of the fact I could make my tail

wag! Good Grief! This was sick! I'm not a wolf and don't need to know

about this kind of thing.



Something was making me want to be a wolf and I was not at all happy

about that.



---



As he ran off, I could see that this was not going to be easy. I also

could see that I couldn't force him to be what I wanted. He was very

mixed up and I was concerned for his sanity.



I could shift and trace him easily, but decided not to, since I could

find him anytime. I needed help.



I shifted to my wolf form and headed out to my place. I reached the back

of the house and focused into my suite. Jen and Steve were in the midst

of amourous activity as I phased in but quickly sat up and asked what

had happened.



I sat on the edge of my bed and told them what happened.



That's not supposed to be possible, Steve told me. It always takes a

couple of days before someone can change.



Well, that's what I'd been led to believe. Maybe he changed faster

because he's decended of the Lycaon, I offered.



It's possible, Steve said. In that case, we can't expect any of this to

work out the way it's supposed to. Where is he now?



I explained that I left him along the shore and that I felt it would be

better to come to grips with this on his own without any interference by

us.



Jen agreed with me, while Steve felt this was an awfully dangerous thing

to do, but considering the strong feelings and terror, we may have to do

it this way.



We changed as a group and shifted to the back yard. We ran around to the

front only to scare the dickens out of Emily who was just coming home.

We hurried along to the shore and stayed in the heavy brush and trees

along the cliff top.



We found him fairly quickly and stayed there watching him. I saw him

throw up and then lay down heavily. He scratched his ear and gave a

perfect impression of having been caught with his hand in the cookie

jar.



He slept through the day and we sat about trading stories about what

happened to each of us since I left the town. Steve and Jen began to

nuzzle and lick at each other then made love. I watched for a while and

licked at myself for a bit, but didn't really want to continue. I wanted

him.



They lay panting, locked together. I told them I was going to get some

food and started searching out squirrels and mice. I caught a few and

had some grass and berries and brought them back a few mice. They ate

the mice and lay, waiting until they could separate.



As night began to fall, he started moving. He seemed to become fixated

with his tail. As I watched, a faint shimmer came over him as he went

very slightly out of focus and came back in. I turned to Steve and

questioned him.



Steve began. His wolf form is trying to help him. Don't forget that he

has a complete set of wolf memories in there. He just can't get at them

when he needs them. That is, he shouldn't be able to get at them.

There's something very strange happening here.



Even if he could change, odd enough, he shouldn't be able to phase like

that. Most of us have to learn that trick. He turned to Jen. Jen, tell

me about the form you picked.



Well, said Jen, it was a very powerful male. I sure he was a powerful

pack leader who had kept his position for his entire life and then died

of natural causes. He was never thrown out. It seemed to suit the guy.

You know, independant and strong, yet a good leader.



Steve looked at her for a moment then his furry body kind of sagged. He

put his muzzle on his fore paws and gave a great ragged sigh. What's

wrong, I asked him.



Well, I'm afraid we've made a little mistake, he told me. A strong form

is safe for a new entry because the human is complete and can defend

itself. Your mate is already part Lycaon and so wouldn't have the

defenses a pure human would. I'm afraid the wolf form may come to

dominate him. If that happens, I'm not sure we can get him back.



I looked at him in shock. Good God! What can we do?



Another great shuddering sigh came over Steve and Jen moved closer to

him and licked his ear. Uhm, well, just right now, there's not a whole

lot I can do. I'm not skilled enough for this. Jen?



Sorry, me neither, she said to me.



Well, we've got to get him back so the Elder can take of him, I said to

them. We're going to have some problems though. He doesn't trust us and

I know he doesn't trust the Elder in no uncertain terms.



Steve lifted his head. He said, I suspect that the best thing for now is

to let him get his grips on all this. We can defend him for the next

while, all I can hope is that he gets his act together before his other

half gets it together for him.



I looked down and saw only empty beach. He had gone. We phased down the

cliff and scented his trail following at a discrete distance.



---



I knew I had to figure something out. I was, for the time, stuck as a

wolf. I didn't know how to get free or get back to normal and someone

was trying to make me want to stay in this form.



The damnable thing was that the longer I stayed in this form, the more

interested I became in how it all worked. I suppose I was lucky that at

least I was still male. I don't think I could handle having to figure

out how to be a wolf and a female at the same time.



At first I had trouble with walking, trying to coordinate four feet

without tripping, but I just pretended I was crawling. The first time I

tried it I found that I was resting on the ground and creeping without

lifting from the ground, but with a little experimentation, I soon got

the hang of it.



I moved up along the coast. I remembered that there were several farms

and a large park area along the shore away from the city. If I could

make it there, I could be safe enough until I got more of this worked

out.



Soon enough, I lapsed into a kind of daydreaming and would have been

humming to myself, if I could do that anymore. The constant trotting

felt pretty good and I was making time. Once or twice I had the feeling

that I was being followed and tried to trap whoever it was, but never

saw anyone.



I hate to admit it, but as the night grew deeper, I was starting to

enjoy this. I felt really good; no pains. I felt a little hungry but not

even very much of that.



At one point, I couldn't get past the cliff and had to swim. I had to,

well, dog paddle and didn't really like it too much. When I cleared the

cliff, I swam as fast as I could to the shore. The wetness clung to my

fur and I hated it. I felt like I weighed a ton. Before I could think

about what to do, I found myself twisting my head and body in opposite

directions, sending the water into a fountain spray all around me.



I continued trotting and as the water finally dried off. I felt cool.



The ground sloped up and soon opened into a much wider beach. I

continued overland from here and made my way through several pastures to

a forested area separated by a high wire fence. I lept the fence with

little effort and headed in.



The night grew darker as I moved into the shelter of the forest. I could

hear all sorts of movement skittering in the underbrush. My nose, so

low, drank in the rich liquor of the matted ground. The spongy carpet

broke away as my claws penetrated, releasing sharp bursts of scent. I

was enraptured.



I moved almost silently through the woods. I began to grow hungry and

considered this problem. I couldn't catch and eat an animal raw. At the

same time, I couldn't exactly catch it, kill it and then cook it.



I decided to pass on eating for now.



Now that I had reached my haven, I had to stop and consider my

situation. Stuck like this, my life as I knew it had come to an end, and

while this was not really all that bad, it certainly wasn't my idea.



Basically, I had few paths. I could stay this way for the rest of my

life, not really what I want. I could try and figure out how to get back

to the good old me, but how is a good question. Or, I could go back to

her and see what options that would bring.



Well, the first was out, the third had too many unknowns for me at this

point in time, that left the second. The only problem here was that I

didn't really know how I got this way to start with. I mean I know that

bite the Elder gave me probably did it, I've seen enough horror movies

to figure that out, but what controlled the change. Hollywood screwed up

in one sense, there wasn't a full moon and here I was in wolf city.



I began to wonder just how much of the legend I'd seen in those grade B

flicks was true. I mean, I thought all that stuff was made up. Still, as

much as I hate to think this, werewolves are obviously real. I was one.

So, somebody has to know about them. But who? I couldn't go back to her

home town, they're all like her.



Just then, I smelled a musky male scent similar to mine. A light went on

in my head and I knew it was another wolf. Sure enough, a large, shaggy

beast crept through the trees and loped towards me.



Before I could think, I started growling and found my lips pulled back

in a snarl. The other wolf stopped and kept his distance.



Suddenly, a voice surrounded my head. It said, hello, you're new to

these woods aren't you. I was stunned, but this stupid body just kept on

snarling and growling. I started to feel a little angry. I tried to get

a grip on myself and forced myself to stop. I did.



Now the problem was, how to reply? Just talk to me, the other wolfs

voice told me. Huh? How could he hear me? I then realized I wasn't

hearing the voice exactly, it was sort of all around my head and in it.



That's right, we can read each others mind.



Good God! I don't think I can take much more of this.



I'm sorry. My name's Steven. I've been watching you.



You're one of them aren't you!



You mean a werewolf? Yes. I've been one all my life. I'm sorry you're

not enjoying it. It really can be fun if you let it.



Fun! You call running about on all fours and howling at the moon, fun?

My life's been wrecked. All I wanted was a lady to settle down with and

some kids, now what do I get, puppies?



First, we don't howl at the moon, unless we want to, and second, you can

still have your family.



What? Oh no! That's sick! I'm not bedding down, or what ever, with a

female wolf. That is sick, under lined, sick.



Why so? You're a wolf now too. Besides, that's not what I meant. You

could become a human again.



How? My heart lept in my throat. I'd do anything for that.



You can not be rid of the wolf. It is a part of you now and you must

dominate it. If not, it will take you over.



Well that's just great. What do I have to do? Go to Stevies School for

Werewolves and in just ten easy lessons learn all about being large and

furry? Right.



I can see you're not ready for my help yet. I can't do it without your

cooperation. When you're ready to stop being sorry for yourself, just

let me know, I'll be around.



Sorry for myself! How dare you...



And then he was gone. Just like that.



---



Good evening ladies.



Oh, Steve. How did it go?



Not well I'm afraid. You're boyfriend is sure pig headed.



Really Steve. It's not his fault. The Elder didn't warn him about all

this. Try and imagine what it would be like to human and then have all

this dropped on you.



Jen was quiet. I can't imagine having to be human all the time.



Steve ran up to her and began licking her muzzle. He agreed with Jen.



Well, I said to them, I've had to live a large part of my life in the

city as one of them and I can tell you it's no fun for the most part.

Trust me, I know. We're just going to have to keep a look out on him and

make sure he doesn't get into trouble.



---



I was thirsty. A stream ran nearby and I went to it. I stuck my muzzle

into the water and gagged as water rushed up into nose. Fiery pain

coursed through my nose and I tried to sneeze.



I wish I had owned a dog. At least then I'd have seen it doing these

things and I could figure it out. A wave of anger came over me. I

shouldn't be having these problems, any pup could drink water!



I was having trouble finding where my nose ended but with practice and

care, I found the right distance and started licking. I wasn't getting

much water this way until I realized I had to lick it like an ice cream

cone, using my tongue as a scoop.



The water had a metallic taste but was very cool. I kept drinking until

my jaw ached.



Now to solve my food problem. I could go over to the farm nearby and try

to sneak something out of the garbage can. Yuck! Still, cold egg from a

garbage can is better than chasing down a living animal.



I started for the farm feeling gloomy. As I approached the fence, I

spotted a chicken pecking about...



Blackness.



The chicken blood was running down my throat. I was holding the now

inert animal in my forepaws and ripping chunks of raw chicken and

chewing. It tasted so good.



I lept up in shock, dropping chewed bits of chicken to the ground. I

stood there motionless for a minute staring at the shredded animal

carcass strewn about the forest ground. I had done that?



I couldn't have, but somehow, I had. I don't know how. I don't even

remember doing it, and I liked it. I think I'm going to throw up again.



I ran to the stream and holding my breath, plunged my head into the

water. I rubbed it about until all the blood was gone.



The water ran down my face and made red streamers. I placed my stained

paws into the water and rubbed at them sending out a cascade of

crimson.



Finally, I just crawled into the stream and lay down. More red. I wasn't

really thinking anymore. I rested my head and felt the water sliding

over my fur. All I had to do was put my muzzle down and I could end it.



I felt a bite of fear shoot through me. Something grabbed me and made me

get up. It pulled me to the dry grass and forced my body to shake itself

dry. I felt like a puppet.



I wanted to hit something or scream or ... do something. I couldn't do

anything! I wanted to cry.







Chapter 10



He's in trouble. I could see that right away by the jerky movements. I

called Jen over.



She looked into him and confirmed my fears, his wolf form was beginning

to dominate. Jen lay down and I saw her astral form lift free and head

over to him.



As she approached, a huge, incredibly feral form leapt from his body and

struck at her. It lunged and ripped pieces of her form from her. She was

down almost instantly. I quickly recalled her to her body and helped her

in. We were in worse trouble than we thought.



She got up, staggered by the attack. She looked at me and her look told

me the worst. We might not be able to free him and control the

wolf-form.



What I couldn't understand was how powerful the wolf-form was in astral

form. It didn't make sense. A wolf is very intelligent but shouldn't be

able to make such effective use of an astral form. It was as if it knew

just how to attack on this level.



Or perhaps it had help.



I tended to her as best as I could. She would need plenty of rest and

there was precious little else we could do.



Steve came up to us and shifted. He held her unconscious form in his

arms and stroked her soft fur. What the hell is that thing? I've never

seen or heard of anything like it. He pulled her tighter to his chest.

She might know, if she's ok.



Jen groaned and muttered a single word: Gevaudan.



---



I stood fixed in place as some powerful force gripped me and held me

rooted. I was first terrified, then angry. Now I was enraged.



First some freaks in a backwater town sic their chief loony on me and

turn me into a werewolf. Then I'm stuck in this form and they come back

to taunt me. I find my self killing things and eating them, and liking

it! And, now! Now this stupid body decides it's in business for itself!

Well, I've had it.



I gritted my mental teeth and strained to move. It was just like one of

those horrible dreams where some great monster is coming to cleave you

into little pieces but you're totally paralysed. You can't move a muscle

and you know that if you could just move anything, even just a little

bit, you'd be free.



In my mind I screamed. I was not going to spend the rest of my life as a

defective wolf! I concentrated on one paw. I focused all my mind and

will on it and begged it to move. It did.



The paralysis collapsed like a house of cards. I went down just after

it. I hit the ground and gave a woof as the air was punched from my

lungs. I groaned and a whine followed. I was free to move.



I got up and it was like all four legs were off on their own. I fell

down. I tried again and stayed up a little longer, then fell down again.

This was starting to hurt.



I relaxed and tried to get into this wolfs eye view I had and slowly got

up. This time I could do it. I was off again.



After that little shock, I'd had enough. I could continue to deny this

to myself but I was getting no where. There was only one reasonable

course left. I had to find her and get her to help me. Besides, I needed

her very badly. The ache she left in me was growing stronger every

moment.



I circled around the forest and headed back to the beach.



---



Jen was sleeping fitfully in Steve's arms when I caught the first trace

of him. He was returning. I told Steve to wait here; I'd go and meet

him. Jen stirred and mumbled. I couldn't make out what she was trying to

send to me, just a faint warning.



I sat there trying to decide if I should go or stay. Something very

wrong had happened and only she knew just what it was. I also knew that

if I waited much longer, my love would be in danger of losing his soul.



I turned to Steve for help and he could offer none.



He needs me, I told Steve. I can't wait for her, I've got to go to him.

Steve nodded.



I rose and loped to my love. As I approched him, I could sense a

strangeness about him. I felt a twinning around him, as if there were

more than one person there.



He spotted me and began to run to me. He seemed happy to see me but I

was assailed by a dread that grew as he came closer. Involuntarily, my

tail curled between my legs and I began whining. I wanted to run.



A shape loomed to my right. Steve had joined me. I could see the same

fear in his face and this made me all the more afraid.



Finally, he reached us. He lept and tried to tear my throat. Steve

pounced on him and pulled him down. As I watched in horror, I saw sharp

fangs dig into Steve's leg drawing blood. I was frozen. I couldn't fight

him, but couldn't let Steve be hurt.



Another shape flashed past me and barrelled into the fray. Jen had

joined the fight. I had to stop them from hurting him. I lept in and

became entangled in the flailing mass of bodies. I found myself hurling

through the air and landing away from them. I shook myself and stood up.

He was standing apart from Steve and Jen. He had grown so viscious

looking, so terrifyingly wild.



We couldn't fight him on this level. I lifted free of my form and stood

above the field. A moment later I was joined by Jen and Steve. As we

watched, the whole field of view shimmered and became chaotic. I felt

ripples of ether washing through me. It made me nauseous.



A great shudder passed around us and then the world was set still.

Before us was a huge horrid distortion of a wolf. It slavered and

drooled. Its fur was long and matted, knotted. It was almost sickening

to look at. Beside the monsterous thing was a small inert human form

tied to the creature by a fiery silver cord.



I looked to my side and saw the female wolf that was my counterpart. She

was frightened and stood shivering, her tail tightly curled between her

legs. I shared her fear.



Steve and Jen stood off to the side, counterparts at their sides.



We moved together and held hands. Our counterparts pressed their bodies

close to us and the six of us gathered strength.



The monster snarled and sprayed its sickly saliva over the ground. It

lept forward, dragging the soul of my love along like a toy doll.



There was no way we could handle something like that. The evil the thing

reeked was passing through us. I felt as if I were bathing in acid.



The only hope we had was to make it revert to human form. Then it

wouldn't have such power over him and we could get him to someone who

may be able to help.



We concentrated and formed a thick wall in the aether. I could hear its

enraged howling, the sound of its smashing into the barrier. It would

only take a few minutes to get through.



Steve went back to the lower world and readied himself. Jen and I

released the wall and quickly punched out a psychic blast, hoping it

would distract the monster. It didn't really do very much and the thing

began approaching, walking stiffly in a parody of a hunt.



Jen jumped down to the lower world and left me. I prayed they would be

finished soon. I knelt and put my arms around my counterpart. She

whimpered and licked my face.



I could feel the hot smell of its breath on my skin. I looked up and

into blood red eyes, rimmed with mucous and slime. I closed my eyes and

held on to my counterpart expecting to die in that instant.



A hand grabbed me and shoved me away. Looking up, my mate was conscious

and had positioned himself before the monster. The thing was holding

back. I could tell it wanted to rip into him but was held back by some

force. My mate stepped forward and plunged his arm into the monsters

maw. A brilliant flare of light seared my eyes. For a moment, I saw my

mate, his wolf counterpart and a hideous man, all three chained in

silver.



Then I was back in the lower world and in my human form. Across from me,

my mate, now human as well, was being helped up by Steve and Jen. I felt

as if I had been used to beat a rug. I ached everywhere. I got up

shakily and went to my love and held him. He looked into my eyes and a

weak smile crossed his lips. He passed out.



He should be safe for now, Jen said. How he managed to get free of the

monsters grip, I'll never know.



Steve shifted back to wolf and ran for my house. He was going to bring

back clothes for all of us. We were still all quite naked.



Chapter 11







"You saw what?" Steve looked at me in shock.



"There was a man attached to the same counterpart. An ugly, ugly, evil

man," I told him.



"Gevaudan," Jen said quietly.



"You said that before. Who is Gevaudan?"



"'Who was Gevaudan?' actually. He lived in France in the 1700's. His

real name wasn't Gevaudan; nobody knows what his real name was. He was a

terribly evil man who became a Lycaon. He terrorized France for years

until one day he vanished. He was called 'La Bete de Gavaudan'," Jen

explained.



Steve turned to Jen. "I don't see what that has to do with our new

Lycaons problems. You can't attach another human soul to a living human,

can you?"



"Not normally, the living body will resist it. The Bete was not a normal

man or a normal Lycaon by any means. He had an insane amount of personal

drive, and he was very smart. They never caught him, even in a time

where lycanthropy was generally being sought out with greater passion

and visciousness than witches were. No, I'm sure that some how that

monster has survived." Jen shook with rage," and he used me to give him

a life."



I stood there, my mind a blank. "What can we do for him?" I asked.



"Well," Steve began," we're not equipped to handle this. How your

boyfriend resisted him long enough to let us switch him back to human

form, or for that matter, why he could switch back to his form and not

the Bete's form is beyond me. We need help. Jen love, can you keep him

under?"



She walked over to the inert form on the bed and touched his head. She

drew her hand away as if it had been burnt. Clutching her hand to her

chest, she said, "I think so, but the monster is so strong. Everytime I

go in deep enough to keep him down, the monster tries to attack along my

life line."



I gave Steve the car keys and directions to the apartment. I asked him

to fill the tank and load the suitcases with clothes for him. As he

left, I called to him: "Hurry!"



Jen was sitting on the bed keeping an eye on the still form. He looked

so peaceful, how could any of this happened?



---



Steve returned very quickly. I checked my purse for my wallet and we

began to carry him to the car.



Jen sat in the back with him, and Steve and I rode in the front. We rode

back to the town in silence broken only by the sound of my mate's skin

rubbing against the rough blanket we used to cover him.



As we rode up to the Elder's Hall, the sun was just starting to break

over the horizon... such a beautiful morning for such a horrible night.

We could see that within the building, people were moving about and two

larger men I didn't recognise came out and helped carry him into the

large open room which made up the meeting area. The Elder and several of

the oldest citizens were there setting up various paraphernalia,

lighting candles and setting out garlands of herbs and leaves.



We carefully lay the naked body in the center of a ring of incensed

candles which filled the room with a cinnamon scent. Jen led me to a

dark corner of the room and made me sit.



"You can't help - neither can I. Just wait. The Elders know what they're

doing." she said to me. We made ourselves comfortable and lifted to the

higher plane to watch the real battle and to be ready if we were

needed.



The Elders appeared on this plane as bright lights moving around the

dark mass huddled around the man I loved so much. I could see his form,

the wolf he was to be paired with and that horrible monster holding them

within his form. They weren't even trying to escape... they seemed dead

but the thin glimmer of their life-line told me that there was still

hope.



Each light moved into its place in the configuration of six and reformed

into six pairs of human and wolf - three pairs male and three female

pairs to complete the balance - the wolves sitting anxiously in front of

and at the feet of the humans to guard them from attack. Their lower

bodies seemed so old and frail, but their higher bodies were so young

and vital. It was almost painful to look directly at them.



The light of their spirit flowed over the Bete and making him scream in

anger. He rose, a black pillar drinking up their light. Once again, it

took on the form of a huge characture of a wolf, snapping and howling in

the aether. It pounced at the youngest of the Elders, knowing that his

youth would make him the weakest link.



For a moment, his light dimmed and it seemed as if the circle would fall

but his companion managed to grab the Bete in the flank and bit hard.

The Bete returned the attack with a vicious swipe of its razor sharp

claws. That gave the Elder the time he needed to regain his strength

from the others and to throw back the Bete to the center of the circle.



Thin lines of energy started forming between the Elders binding the Bete

within their eldritch boundries. It grew in volume and complexity as if

it some spider web of magic threads were being woven around the creature

within.



At first it seemed not to affect him at all. His claws easily tore the

lines apart releasing the energy - the Elder's life force, into a spray

of sparks which he swollowed greedily, but the webbing was growing so

fast, so thick, that soon he could not continue devouring the strands.

They just broke apart as they touched him, but not they hurt him when

they broke.



I watched this in quiet fascination as I realised that they couldn't win

this way. Each new strand was a part of the their life-force and that

wasn't infinite. Something had to be done, something final. Without

warning, I knew what to do.



Dropping back into my lower form, the room plunged into darkness as I

returned to the normal world. My astral vision had been giving me a view

of the room so bright that my normal vision had been compensating for

the light. A precious second passed as I regained my sight and made my

way past the Elders to the centre of the circle to stand over my mate.



I gathered all my strength and turned my vision inward. No hint could be

given so I was flying blind. Focussing all of me into one place, I burst

through into the astral plane and directly into the centre of the Bete.

My life force exploded out in all directions...



---



I was laying on a cold wooden floor in a blindingly bright room. Someone

was yelling and other people were running about. As my eyes refocused, I

realised that it was she.. the woman I loved and she was laying next to

me. I took her up and  she was so cold.



One of the old people, the one I met at her house walked over and

kneeled next to us. "Is she.." I started to ask, but he put a finger

over my lips. He just said "Wait."



There were six of them and they sat around us in a circle. One of them

looked in pretty bad shape. The woman called "Jen" came over and pressed

a finger to my head and I suddenly felt calm and lightheaded. The room

went blue and filled with a glowing vapour.



I could see us sitting and laying on the ground and at the same time, we

were floating in the air. Suddenly, there was a large male wolf sitting

next to me, licking my face. It was made of the same vapour everything

else was formed from, but I could touch it.I could see a figure floating

well above us. "Call her back... call her to you" a voice told me.



I stood up and yelled her name. The sound seemed to die in just a foot,

muffled in the thick vapour. I lept for her and found myself propelled

in her direction. I caught her arm and saw the light which was drawing

her away. It was so pure, so beautiful. I knew that if I looked at it

for another second I'd follow her into it.



Squeezing my eyes closed, fighting back tears, I pulled her down. From

here, I could see the six lights of the elders. One was clearly dimmer

than the others. My love was standing next to me, so quiet and weak. The

brightest elder stood and helped the dimmest elder to stand.



They embraced and the one pulled a strand of silver from the body of the

other as if unravelling a cloth. The real body of the dim one, now

floating over us, slumped forward. The bright elder took the silver

thread and drew it out, draping it over my love's real body and then

over the ghostly form next to me.



A shaggy form lept out of the real body of my love and bounded to the

ghost next to me taking its place as all of the parts merged together. I

dropped back into my body and passed out.



Chapter 12



When I awoke, it was daytime and I was in a wood panelled room. A woman

I'd not seen before was sitting in a chair by the bed with a bowl of hot

soup.



"Eat this," she said, "you'll need it."



"Where is she?" I asked.



"She's out of danger, but she's not well."



I climbed out the bed as the room swung around. "Please, take me to

her."



She led me to the next room and there she was - pale, but she seemed

alright. The old man we met the night I first arrived here was sitting

next to her. He motioned for me to come over.



"She is back with us, but she will be weak for a while. She saved your

life, you know." he said.



"She did? I remember so many things but not much of it made sense." I

told him honestly.



She turned fitfully and I sat at the side of her bed. She opened her

eyes and looked up at me then at the Elder. He quietly nodded and she

threw her arms around me, sobbing.



"Hey... hey... It's OK... you're going to be fine." I said to her,

retuning her hugs.



The Elder stood and started to leave. As he reached the door he turned.



"Welcome home." he said and then left the room.



And he was right. I was home.